How to Get Over Your Ex For Good

By Trecee Hutchinson - 7:00:00 AM

So before I start this post, let me give the disclaimer that I am no relationship expert. In fact, I'm team happily single. I am however the queen of healthy break ups... meaning if things aren't working out with a man I am dating,  I will walk away no matter how much I want to stay. A broken heart can be devastating, but the way I see it self preservation and personal happiness should always be your first priority.

If you're struggling with a breakup, keep reading for tips to help you move on and thrive.


The first step to getting over someone you love is accepting that it's over and allowing yourself to feel the feelings that come along with it. Cry your eyes out if that's what you need to do. I am a total crier, sometimes over insignificant things, but I like to get those feeling out so I don't lash out in other ways on the back end.

Decline, Block, and Delete 

Stay strong and cut communication (at least for a while). I like to unfollow on all social media sites, block texts and calls. This is an important step because it helps with starting to focus your energy elsewhere. After all, how can you get over them if they are showing up in your Instagram and Twitter feeds?! Let the idea that you need to know what they're doing or who they're doing it with, go. You don't need to know and it will only slow down the healing process if you keep up with them.

Get Away

A change of scenery is also a major key. Whether it's going an hour away or across the county, taking a quick little vacation will help you get your mind together. Focus on enjoying yourself in the moment and relieving all the stress of the break up. There is definitely something about a change of scenery that helps to kick off the healing process. Go somewhere with your friends or alone and resist the temptation to talk about the relationship.

Find Inspiration

Fun Fact: This blog was started because of a break up!

I had been thinking about starting my blog for about 6 months before the break up, but after it was over, I was determined to do all of the things that I had been putting off or couldn't find the drive or motivation to do. Finding inspiration in pain can be incredibly healing because it allows you to focus all of the negative energy into something that you love or find interesting.

Don't want to start a blog? Go out and visit museums or go to events that you wouldn't normally attend. You will be surprised where inspiration can find you when you look for it.

Treat Yo' Self

Buying things and doing things for yourself honestly helps. I'm not saying forget all your responsibilities and throw your money away, but getting something that you have been wanting for a while will distract you. Personally, I splurge on luxury makeup because that makes me happy. Literally, every Tom Ford product I have was purchased because of this reason. To build on this, invest in yourself. Attend seminars and workshops to grow your knowledge and skills in your career and personal life. Another plus is that you'll get the opportunity to meet and interact with people who are like-minded and have the same goals as you.

Take Care of Yourself

Not only do you want to buy yourself something nice, make sure to practice self care and reflect on all of the good things that make you a great person that's worthy of the right relationship. My favorite thing to do to make sure I keep my thoughts in a positive space is daily affirmations. There's a saying that " Your thoughts manifest your reality." and I cannot agree more. Find some affirmations that speak to your situation and repeat them aloud every morning. You would be surprised how this can really help to start the healing process and keep positive thoughts at the forefront of your mind. I linked a few articles below for positive affirmations

Self Love Affirmations

Love Affirmations

Accountability and Self Reflection

Disclaimer: This only applies to healthy relationships. If someone is abusive or treating you like total trash it is not your fault.

Typically in breakups, people tend to always blame the other party for the demise of the relationship. Although this is a tempting thing to do, definitely avoid playing the victim. Since relationships are a 2 way street, take some time out to self reflect on how you contributed to the end of the relationship. Self reflection can also help in terms of figuring out what you want and don't want in your next relationship.

Surround yourself with Love

During a breakup, friends and family are a major key. Lean on your support system, because in most cases they wouldn't hesitate to be there for you. Use one of your friends as an accountability partner when you feel like calling your ex. Also, spending time with friends and family definitely helps to get your mind off of the situation.

Time Heals All

This is really cliche, but it's true. Give yourself time. Feelings don't go away overnight and that's okay and healthy. I know in my personal situation, the person I was dating started dating someone else immediately. I can't tell you how much of a blow to my ego AND feelings that was! Instead of lashing out, I gave myself a few months and found that I felt a little better every day. Eventually the person will be the last thing on your mind, so just look forward to that day.

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